Thursday, May 24, 2007
okies... kinda feeling emo. i dunnoe whether i can make it to JC not. and my mother doesn't want me to go either. she don't think i'm able to cope in there... academically and mentally. but i really wanna go yet i dun think i can make it. these contradicting thoughts keep running through my head. i really dun know what to do. future seems kind of bleak. i'm so stupid can't even handle my studies properly, how am i going to survive in society next time? another thing is the fact tht i've let my tuition teacher down. i let her down and i really dunnoe how to face her. i feel so darn embarrassed. thought a lot. and i got a massive headache. talk abt mentally being strong =.= i sure can persevere but under stress i malfunction. i begin to doubt my ability. can i really make it? will i be able to make it? so what if i made it? what abt A lvls? will i be able to make it? what if i flunk my A's and the JC kick me out? wouldn't i be wasting 2 years? i'll have to go to a poly wouldn't i? i would've wasted 2 years of my life. + another 3 years in poly.. the thought is just horrible. but i really dun wish to go to poly. i'm really trying to work hard. i really am.
